>> - A "failover" mode to the load balancer; having pound move on to the
>> next back-end ONLY when the first (highest priority) is down

Yes, I need this too. In fact I was just about to post this question before seeing you had asked the same thing.

>> - A "include" function in the configuration file along with the
>> possibility to HUP the process to reload configuration without having
>> to restart

Yes, I too very much need the ability to reload on the fly.  External configuration files would save me from having to make a script that overwrites my pound config file on the fly.

> A failover mode is available - see the Emergency directive.
>>Yes, but this only allows two servers in failover - some of my clients
>> need more than one stand-by server.

Yes I am in the exact same boat. Same issue here.

> How does the grace-time directive help me?

Yes I have been wondering this too. Can someone please explain?

> Unfortunately, a code fix is not within my qualifications to produce..

Same here.

Thanks to everyone.